I have plenty to thank COVID 19 for. It might sound paradoxical and maybe slightly offensive to all those who have lost so much during this pandemic. I had my share of loss too, however I was lucky enough none of my loved ones was affected. My heart is aching for all those who haven’t been this lucky. 

Yet, in almost any situation, we can find something positive if we look hard enough and, almost a year down practicing lockdown, I actually have.

During this year my ability to move about and do things has been drastically reduced not only by the mandatory periods of self-isolation the government has thrown at us, but, in addition to that, by a consistent reduction of my income that have made difficult to do much even when the restrictions were being lifted. 

I found myself restricted in a physical confining space, my home, and in a less tangible one, my mind. With less to do and lesser resources, I gained more time to think and listen to myself.

As a person who has always lived with difficulty the extreme acceleration of the lifestyle we all lead in modern days, craving desperately for a different rhythm, a slower way, I found myself in the promised land. 

Less appointments to attend, lots of “not so necessary” activities put on hold for better times, less pressure to do and hassle. 

I’m not religious, but I think of myself as spiritual, as every other human being. I trust deeply in the wisdom of mother nature and I find myself wondering… was this pandemic needed? Was it actually necessary for the long term survival of our species and the planet?

Will we be wise enough, once all is over, to take stock of the many lessons we have learnt?

From the most trivial ones, like mandatory booking for art exhibitions so we can be in the premises in small numbers and everyone can have the best experience and really enjoy the art they can finally admire undisturbed; to booking for blood tests so you don’t have to waste two hours in a queue for something that takes three minutes; to more existential issues like claiming your time and finding a more independent and free view on life. 

The latter is what I’m most thankful for. I realized my thirst for action and travel was just a symptom of a deep feeling of uneasiness. Doing, going, was my way of self-medicating, of running away from what I didn’t want to see. What was it? 

Simply that I wasn’t living life in my own terms. I was letting everything pushing me. I was following along without even knowing why. The noise had numbed me. Social pressure had taken over my decisional power. I wasn’t acting. I was reacting. 

Well, suddently I couldn’t travel anymore, I couldn’t go anywhere so I started practicing time travel. I rediscovered the things I really loved and that I had tossed away when I became an adult, as frivolous and not productive. As someone who has studied the classics and majored in philosophy, meeting again all the old guys has been a life saver. Their eternal wisdom brought light into my life again. It was just like finding something that was long lost but somehow I’d never stopped searching. What good job had I done at boxing all that part of me and store it somewhere hidden for safe keeping. How did this even happen?

Since I was a child I was very clear as per where my passions laid and with the simplicity of childhood and youth I had just pursued it. I was whole and happy back then. Then I grew into an adult and felt that I had to do what was right. So, I took a box and chucked it all in and forgot about it. What I didn’t know is that inside that box I hadn’t put only books and dreams, but my soul as well. For 20 years I worked so hard to become someone else without even knowing I was doing it for most of the time. 

Meeting the old me has made me whole again. Travelling back in time and visiting the giants on whose thoughts we have built our culture and our society has helped me more than any new age therapy of mindfulness session to understand where the real problem was, at least, for me. 

In a society entirely oriented towards the future, racing for the new and riding fast change as only Zeus could ride a thunder…

it was turning back to the past that really helped me finding the path I had lost. 

I’m grateful for that, as absurd as it may sound. I’m grateful that we were granted a moment of suspension, a chance to catch our breath, take stock and think hard. The opportunity of checking on our path and seeing if we are heading in the right direction, as humans and as a society. 

On my side, a pile of books is growing taller by the day. This is the travel bucket list I’m compiling at the moment. I plan to visit different authors and civilizations to learn again about their customs and views on life, to have an open conversation with them, to listen to what was so meaningful that has survived centuries and millennials and still talks to us because it shares the divine nature of art: eternity. 

If you’re looking for something and you don’t exactly know what that is, if you’re feeling a little disconnected and you’ve been already trying all what modern society has to offer, give a go to Ovid, Seneca or Omer for a change. Check on a philosopher of your choice or pick a painter or a musician and study their art work. There is less on the menu on this side of history but what’s still on offer has past the hardest customer appreciation test of all, the test of time.